Post op adventures!
Interesting day today. There may be TMI in this post for the squeamish, so consider yourselves warned!
I’ve been having a lot of pain, especially since my last drain was removed last Friday. The nurse that removed it missed one of the stitches, and basically ripped a hole the size of a nickel in my pubic area. Funny thing was I went to that appointment because of the pain, only to leave with more pain. That was also my chemo day.
So I have spent about a week pretty weepy. The drugs they gave me messed with my head and created a kind of black fog in my brain. I spoke with the nurses at the cancer agency and they assured me that at two weeks out I should still be in acute pain – it’s all perfectly normal – I should expect about 3 months of this. That beautiful stat only fuelled my drug induced depression further.
So last night I decided enough was enough. I was calling in the troops. We called Jeff’s mom and dad and they came down today to do the laundry and change the beds and get groceries and feed the hoards. I was so happy to see them when they arrived that guess what? I cried. It seems to be a running theme lately!! But I am so so thankful for them.
I called my surgeons office this morning and talked to her assistant about the meds and the hole and the pain. She asked me to send her some pictures of my incisions. (Oh the photos she must get across her computer screen…) Dr Robinson was in surgery, but as soon as she could get ahold of her she would get back to me. At 130, I got the call to meet her in the ER ASAP.
I ended up with IV antibiotics, a prescription for dilaudid and more antibiotics to take at home. Tonight when I got up out of bed from my 10th consecutive Downton Abbey episode, the hole where my drain had been opened up and started gushing green stuff for a good five minutes. So obviously yes, there was a reason for my pain, and yes, there is absolutely an infection. The beautiful thing is that as freaky as it was, suddenly a lot of pressure is relieved, and my pain lessened considerably. For that I am also thankful.
I have had moments this week where I felt so alone, so bereft, so frustrated and so DONE. I don’t like people to see me like this. It’s a pride thing. I know I posted I don’t want visitors, but I’ll still open the door for you if you push your way in. In fact the door is always open. Thank you to those of you who have pushed your way in anyway. I would likely do the same for you.
I still have no answer for “let me know if you need anything”. I won’t. I made the mistake once of asking someone for help and it “wasn’t a good day for her.” But at some point you may get lucky and text me just at the right moment, when I’m standing at the fridge looking at an empty carton of milk. If you want to bring us dinner, just ask me for a day. And be prepared that there are 6 of us, two of which are a bit picky. Cookies will always be eaten. So will muffins. I keep saying that one day I will do some sort of “go fund me a celebratory holiday” campaign. I jest. I could never do something like that. But it’s tempting!!!
Tomorrow will be a new day. It can only go up from here right???
2 Comments
Erin
Teri? You got this. It sucks, but you can do it.
You mention picky eaters – anything a no go cookie-wise? Nuts, raisins, etc?
Victoria L
Having been through a few surgeries, I can relate to that part of the annoying, pain-filled, why-am-I-still-dealing-with-this bits. But the rest of it? You're a fucking superhero, Teri. Even superheroes have bad days, though. You are more than entitled to your tough moments and feeling just done with all of this times. That's why there's wine and chocolate and Downton Abby and Facebook and whatever it takes to get over the hump.