I just realized I left you all hanging with a really low post. Sorry about that!! I am now finished radiation!! 28 rounds done. I doubled up on a few of my treatments so we could head out to Wilcox to see Aidan for a few days. With radiation done, I’m now half way through my treatment. All I have left is ten more Herceptin infusions (that takes me until June) and surgery in January.  It’s absolutely beautiful here. I know, it’s Saskatchewan, and it’s super cold, but the sky is enormous and it’s so bright! It’s trying to snow, but I think it may be too cold. What do…

I woke up this morning with tears in my eyes. It’s now 845 at night and there have been more tears today than any day I’ve seen in a long time. What kills me is its been all over little dumb things – like silly spats and knotted wool and unneccesary elbowing penalties. My capacity for “dealing” just seems to be diminished significantly today. Today I had my 11th round of chemo and my 25th radiation treatment. I’m tired. My third doctors appointment of the week brought up the same as the previous two – that I need to start preparing myself for the emotional barrage. The fact of the…

This morning while perusing my newsfeed I came across an article titled “Money, good relationships and a sense of purpose are key to happiness.” I didn’t actually open the article to read whatever they had to say, but it got me asking myself – am I happy? Since I’ve been off work, I have had a lot of time to think. I have had a lot of time to think through the big things. To love my kids. To think about my legacy. To question my relationships. To assess whether the people in my life are feeding my soul or bringing me down. I think about what our lives will…

I haven’t posted any updates lately. In fact, I had to look back to see when the last one was, and it was a quite a while ago! Sorry about that. I just haven’t had much to say lately. I’ve now completed 12 of my 28 radiation treatments. It’s been going well actually – so far so good. I was super tired the first week, but my body seems to be adjusting, weirdly enough. I’m just now starting to have tenderness in my arm pit and a bit of a burn on my back where I can’t reach to put the cream on. But all good. A friend of mine…

According to Facebook, last year today was when I met the crew from Notre Dame that sealed the deal for my boys to go there for school. It also was the day that Jeff and I made the decision to finally implement “The Plan.” The Plan was to move to Saskatchewan for five years, so our kids could go to school while playing great hockey, and we could catch up financially, possibly even get ahead. We could rent our house out here, pay off our mortgage, and have a “grand adventure” of experiencing what winter really feels like. The two months following our decision to implement The Plan were possibly…

The perfectionist in me got in the way as I was reading back my posts, and I had to fix a typo, only for it to repost the post!!! The “down days” was actually from the beginning of August. So don’t think I’m down now! Having a great day. Just had to make a “to” into a “too” !!!

When I first started this crazy ride, I made a friend at chemo class named Nettie. We have done a lot together – meditation class (once), wig shopping (hilarious – and we both rarely wear them), lots of lunches, support group (which I completely forgot about until now)…  We have laughed way more than we’ve cried, and have become good friends. She’s in the trenches with me, and I cherish her friendship more than you could ever know. At one point I said to her “you know, as I go through this I’m going to make it my mission to encourage as many people as I can, in whatever they…

I’ve had a few conversations with family members lately that indicate that I’m not doing a very good job at explaining my treatment plan. They obviously don’t read my blog!!! So yesterday I had my first of the “magic juice” that is Herceptin. I have finished the 8 rounds of chemo that tear everything down – like a “cleansing” in a mustard gas kind of way – and now I have 13 rounds of my sniper chemo. Herceptin targets the Her2-neu cells in my system, which are the ones that encourage recurrence. Those cells, when you think of a terrorist organization, are the recruiters, the masterminds. Herceptin is the drug…

It’s so bloody cold out today that I decided to go to the mall to buy myself one of those blanket-like shawl poncho things (that’s the technical term for it, right?). As I walked through the mall, with my funky tights, a black shirt, my baseball hat and a weird huge scarf that didn’t match at all, I realized we’re getting into boot weather. It’s definitely cold. And it’s too cold for a bald head and baseball cap. Fashion has never been my thing. I’m a hoody and jeans girl – simply because I’m just fashionably incompetent, and have no idea what works and what does not work. The best…

Today I had the best of intentions to get back to my usual self. The only thing I had on my schedule was lunch with my friend Tina, so I decided that today I would put a pulled pork into the slow cooker, tidy up a bit of this huge man cave I live in and be somewhat productive. I told myself I would just do what I can, go slow, take it one step at a time… I mean honestly, I have to be able to do more than just laze around all day. Right? So I started slow. I laid in bed until about 9:30, then did indeed…