Round 6!
Well I’m sitting here in the chemo chair for my sixth round out of eigth treatments. Just sent Linda (my buddy) to Starbucks for a refill and I’m about to get the fourth bag of STUFF added into my body.
I get a lot of random texts saying “hope today is good” and “I’m thinking of you” and “you’ve got this.” Thanks for all of them. I really only have a few days – maybe 6, of feeling bad after chemo. Then I feel like my normal self. I’m always taken aback from those kinds of texts when I’m having a good day. It’s like “why wouldn’t I be feeling good??” I realize not everyone knows my schedule, and I certainly don’t expect anyone to. It just throws me off. Just know I’m not intending to snap about it, or be short, I’m just not willing to drudge up the shitty feelings.
I had a great oncologist appt yesterday. My nutrafils are up (in non medical speak, my blood counts are up), my heart function is up (yahooooo!!) so my body is bouncing back as I had hoped it would.
After I’m done chemo in Sept, I still have 13 rounds of Herceptin (magic juice). I’ll have radiation and several surgeries once my body is healed. However, because my cancer is estrogen+ I have to take for five or ten years a drug called Tamoxifen. I’ve heard of many side effect stories of Tamoxifen, most of which I think I could handle. But one of the big ones is depression and anxiety. Well I can handle chemo, I can handle surgeries, I can handle radiation and poking and prodding and hair loss and all the crap that this disease throws at you. But one thing that scares the hell out of me is depression. I’ve been there. Done that. Not interested in going back. That shit will drown you. I feel like if I have to take medication to counteract side effects of medication, there must be a better way.
I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it. For now I’m just happy that after today I only have two more chemo sessions. Well two more of this kind..
In the meantime, several of you have taken the initiative to go get a mammogram, or whatever test you’ve been putting off. I applaud you for that!!! The rest of you, pls get off your asses and just do it!